All posts by J. Stern

Unclutter Live Free

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

When I hit middle age, I looked around and I looked at me. I’m told this happens to everyone and it’s not such a unique thing. Each person makes the journey differently and it’s perfectly tailored for them. This sudden realization is possibly one of the most important things that will ever happen in a person’s life. This is the time when we are forced to stop by life circumstances and take a look around at what’s really going on. There are a myriad of factors that causes this arrest and it’s different for everyone. It can be the natural process of aging, slowing down or something catastrophic such as illness or death. And what really is going on? What are you really doing? Are you where you wanted to be when you reached midlife? Did you achieve and is achieving what you really thought it was? These questions come and don’t go away. You have to make decisions, sort it out in you mind and pick your direction. Like a ship that is meant to sail the seas, we sail through life and it’s currents and conditions. Without navigation the ship will wander, lyst, maybe be overcome by pirates and possibly, ultimately, sink.

So, I hit that point, my ship was lysting, I looked at myself and I realized I was a cluttered person. My life was cluttered, my house was cluttered and what I thought I liked or wanted had changed. So, maybe you’re not like this, maybe you have it together and always did, maybe you are one of those that will just never even think that you could be uncluttered. But the journey never stops and how much do you really want to take with you? Do you want to expend your energy on carrying a load or do you want to fly swiftly with nothing weighing you down as you embark on adventures? I knew what I wanted and so the purge began. The timing was good, because I had to get ready for my daughter’s baby shower. I called in the neighborhood kids and we set to work. Room by room, sorting and disposing of treasures. Funny thing, a few items caused significant hesitancy, but mostly, it was such a relief. These things could now journey to new homes where they were wanted and used and fulfill their purpose. The energy became active and no longer dormant, just sitting and wasting. The air in my house became light, free and moved with energy once again.

Photo by Peter Fogden on Unsplash

Father Time and Flea Medicine

Photo by petradr on Unsplash

While I was getting ready to apply my pet’s monthly dose of flea medicine the other day; I noticed a date that I had added in black sharpie ink. What stood out about the date was that it wasn’t the previous month like it should have been. Because you are supposed to apply the medicine once a month and two months had passed since I recorded the date. And I realized that I had been swept up in living, filling each day and night to the brim. And as I got busier and busier, time passed and it passed unnoticed. I realized that my resolve to relish each moment of precious life was slipping.

This one little very important chore that brought relief and comfort to my beloved pets, had been passed over without a thought; just as time had passed too. How many days had I missed without watching the sunrise which was one the most beautiful sights in the world? How many days had passed without thinking of how thankful I was for the blessings I had received?

I realized that this applied to so many things in life. Especially in our current times. We have so much information and so much to do. This life is so entertaining and as we enjoy all the offerings, time swiftly passes. Hopefully we immerse ourselves in each moment and that in the end we’re happy with our journey. That we can say we are ok with the way it went and that we are satisfied with the things that we took the time to love and pay attention too.

Ballet for the Best Life

Photo by Sarah Cervantes on Unsplash

My mom sent me to ballet school when I was just four years old. My siblings and I took lessons twice a week from a retired ballerina of the San Francisco ballet who had set up a private studio behind her 1940’s bungalow. The studio was in her garage and had a bouncy wood studio floor and wall to wall mirrors with barres for the dancers to practise. She must have had at least a hundred or more students, because when I arrived for class, dancers were leaving and when my class left, more dancers were coming. We had a yearly recital at the civic center and the seats were always filled.

The discipline of ballet and the effect on the body is an experience that transports an average human being into a physical state beyond the norm. The repetition is like meditation and entering the zone happens almost immediately. Wether you like it or not, and if you have a good ballet instructor, they will keep you to task and do what ever it takes to keep you counting to eight and moving to the count of eight. Mind and body are willed into synchronicity. It’s a good lesson, and probably the best lesson, a child will ever learn. The lesson of repetition with good intent that results in beauty and sends positive energy into the world.

As I danced, my legs became flexible, strong and capable. As I walked to school each morning with my sisters and friends, we could leap more squares of the sidewalks then the others who didn’t dance and leap over puddles easily. At night after school we could climb up to the tops of the trees like monkeys easily and with speed. Our play evolved and we naturally assimilated graceful postures and movements.

Now as an adult, I don’t go to class anymore, but the barre stuck with me. It was the best way to limber up and release the joints that kept getting tighter with age and sometimes felt like a vice within my own body.

Looking through pins of ballet dancers, tendons, muscles, extreme flexibility and strength burst forth. Ballerinas on their toes in shredded satin and wooly soft leg warmers umbrella by small stiff tutus. The satin of the shoes stained with blood from the force of the dance. Pics of strong men and women and using their strength to create raw human beauty. Ballet was beauty, it was health and it made for a beautiful life.

Sunset and seals

Photo by Lou Liebau on Unsplash

I’m a virgo and that means I like healthy stuff. I love food that is green and full of natural ingredients. My old roommate and one of my best friends dubbed me granola head while we lived together. She always had a cupboard full of captain crunch and fruity pebbles and I would always bring home granola, fresh veggies and trail mix for our kids. Not to say she didn’t know how to cook healthy too. She taught me how to make a killer tomatoe and cheddar tortilla in the microwave and I’m still making it for snacking, 20 year later.

So when I walked into Lean and Green Organic Health Bar in La Jolla. It was amazing and I was in heaven. It was located off the beaten track in a corporate building’s inner courtyard. The setting was modern, with upholstered benches and iron patio tables overlooking the business scene. It was an amazing find by my niece who was in training with a goal no less than to make it to the olympics.

We ordered smoothies loaded with protein, avocado, fruit, coconut oil and I had a bowl with quinoa, veggies, beans and savory spices. It didn’t take long to feel full and I looked forward to the energy I’d have once all of these great nutrients were metabolized. After eating, we decided to head down to Seal Beach. The beach was full of tourists that had set out blankets and umbrellas and were relishing the last rays of sun as it set over the sea. Wistful seals swam into the beach, wanting their beach back. A seal would cautiously swim in to the cove halfway and assess the human swimmers and then swim back out. A few brave seals that had made it all the way to the beach, lounged among the humans.They were beautiful laying in the last rays of light, their coats thick and glossy, their eyes closed in rapture, enjoying the soft beach, the playful noise of happy people and the cool mists sweeping off the waves.

Photo by Joss Woodhead on Unsplash

After taking in the brilliant sunset and sea winds we headed back up to our car. The climb was fairly steep and a great workout after our awesome meal. It was the perfect way for the quinoa and other yummy ingredients to be absorbed and metabolized. Blended with the fresh sea air, heavy with nutrients, I felt completely at one with all things healthy and natural.

Water and Work

Photo by Igor Starkov on Unsplash

I sat at the small table covered with formica and gazed out towards the beach at the gray sea. The fog had settled over the morning and the waves had created a contained wonderland of mist and wind. The waves rose and crashed, spewing white foam across the breaks. The air was fresh and full of life that had sprung from the infinite sea. It was cold and it felt good to sit in a sleeveless shirt and let the wind cool my arms that were always hot. Hot from the dizziness of always moving. Moving with the work of life and everything that one was required to do. It was a lot of beauty to behold in one morning, a morning that was a Tuesday and would later be filled with work. This was the perfect start to any day.

Photo by Kym Ellis on Unsplash

I looked down at my bagel and slathered it with white cream cheese and grape jelly and took a bite. As I munched, I listened to the conversation that floated over from the neighboring table. A little girl, with bright red pigtails danced around her family, still in her pink pajamas, looking just like mother. He mother called to her to come back and sit at the table. I looked at her and smiled and she smiled back at me. I wondered if it was the beach, the water, the fog, that inspired her to dance and twirl. To smile at the world. Or maybe she was just happy to be on vacation with her family.

People were up early and taking in the sea air. It was a different crowd from the night before. The night had been filled with tattooed characters approaching us, hyping paraphernalia and schemes. This crowd was fresh and calm. They were here for nature’s entertainment and nothing man-made. They were here for the spectacular view of the sea and sitting close enough to it, that it’s mist enveloped you.

Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash

I noticed that my bagel was almost gone. Time had passed, so I gulped down my tea and moved on to the next part of the day. I moved on, fortified with memories of the beautiful morning.

Vintage Home Tour

Photo by Simon Maage on Unsplash

I’ve been what is known as a historical for awhile now. What this means is I love history and I love to be involved in that world. Sometimes they call us hystericals just for good measure. Hystericals-oops, I mean historicals, light up when the the conversation turns towards old architecture and usually think that every building fifty years or older must be preserved. No matter that the edifice may carry decades of bad renovations, strange add-ons and inappropriate modifications. It’s what’s underneath it all that counts.

Most cities have their Vintage Home Tours in the spring. Usually five or six houses are chosen and then volunteers are gathered and assigned to the homes to recount the history of the home and expound on it’s architecture. This usually happens in May, when Spring is in beginning to set out her blooms and brighten our world. It also happens to usually hit the first hottest day of the year as well. I’ve not participated in a home tour yet, where at the end of the day, my hair wasn’t stuck to my head and I felt soggy from the hot sun beating against my old fashioned clothes. But the experience is worth it, because old architecture is lovely and a door to the past.

Walking into a vintage home transports you immediately into the past and to a simpler and gentler time. Old buildings feel solid and strong around you. The craftsmanship of a time when people built their own homes from scratch and made sure what they made would last. The stories of generations of lives that have passed through the doors of an old home. Some of those players return during a tour to see their old home and relive loved memories. Their faces light up with recognition and wonder as their past comes alive once more.

Little Ones Reunion

My sister and I decided to make a trip up north to visit an old friend. We landed in the city of our early childhood and decided to revisit old haunts. Our dad had worked downtown and had a favorite haunt that was just blocks from his work. He would invite my Mom and us downtown to his favorite lunch spot about once a month. Those were the madmen days and his restaurant was the quintessential madmen hangout. The waiters wore tuxes and knew their regulars by their first names. They knew your order by heart and the service was impeccable. My mom made sure that we always wore a dress, with white gloves, white socks and black patent leather shoes. Our hair was curled and we wore ribbons in our hair for these special lunches.

The restaurant tables were spread with white linen tablecloths and napkins and the silver sparkled. The drinks were icy and cold in spotless glasses. Warm sourdough and cold fresh butter came with the menus immediately and graced each table. The decor was dark, with tall asian vases and wood paneling and the setting was lively, but intimate. The waiters teased us and made sure they complemented our Dad on his beautiful family.

Photo by Ash Edmonds on Unsplash

So fifty years later, we returned and we were surprised. Nothing had changed. We had walked into a time capsule. This favorite haunt was so loved, that the owners chose to honor that love and never changed a thing. Because their love was reciprocated, people kept coming back and the restaurant survived downtown revitalization and decades of change. As we walked in, I almost expected the waiters to remember me, but of course the originals had moved on and new guys in tuxes had taken the stage.

So, we the little ones, from fifty years ago, had our reunion and celebrated our past. We celebrated the wonder of knowing that not everything changes and that some things really are meant to last.

I Saw A Home Run

I read that it’s great to collect happy memories, these memories can be used as pivots to keep upbeat and get the best out of life each day.   I began to collect those memories and make my list, so I could implement the technique right away.   The first memories were my children’s smiles.  There was nothing so pure and full of light as the smile of your happy child.  That topped my list.   Then I saw a baseball and it was flying high and hard and head out across a field.  My son was playing his first season of baseball and hit the hard ball hard.   When he swung the bat, he made it look so easy.  The bat met the ball and crack it was off and flying.   Flying like a seasoned bird going for it through the sky.   People screamed, cheered and laughed. This little boy, only seven years old, had hit the ball like that.  They screamed run, run!  He dropped the bat with a calm that he had always possessed, and off he went to circle the bases.
My heart leaped in my chest and flew with the ball. My son ran the bases. As he ran he kept looking at people’s faces making sure that he was the one that had hit the ball so majestically. He came in and his teammates surrounded him, clapping him on the back with huge grins and words of praise. He let it roll over and around him and the waited for his next turn. Soon he was called again and he made his way to home base with the bat in his hand. The pitcher pitched and crack! The ball was off and flying again. It was always like that for him. He performed the hit with expertise beyond his years. It was a magnificent thing, but funny and cute too. It was a memory that always made me smile. That one was definitely going on the list.

The Flea

Headed out to the Rose Bowl Flea last weekend. It was a glorious Southern California Winter day. The Air was crisp and cool and the sun shone clear through blue skies. Fluffy white clouds floated overhead and drifted on the light breezes. The drive was uneventful with just about three slow and goes on the interstate, but the drive was worth it. I arrived on Seco Street and pulled into the line that led to parking. Once the line moved and I was positioned to enter parking, I was able to cut across the green expanse of lawn and find a great space fairly close to the entrance. The grass was soggy from the past weeks of bountiful rain and mud oozed through where heavy cars and trucks had pulled in and down the rows to find the best parking. The Rose Bowl; designed by the great architect Myron Hunt and completed in 1922, rose above the tents and flags. A white coliseum for modern gladiators. A huge neon rose embelished the cement facade. It’s proportions were perfect and graceful and the building was set out at the base of the canyon in the center of nature. Those architects of the newly settled California had loved nature and sought to place their creations within the center of it.

I got my umbrella for shade and my bag for any goodies I might find and marched up to buy my ticket. The venue was filled with people out for an exciting and fun day filled with anticipation. People were out to explore and to look for vintage treasure and funky clothes that you could only find at a Los Angeles flea market. Just watching my fellow human kind was entertainment enough. We humans came in so many shapes and sizes, personalities and characters. People were dressed in all kinds of gear. A couple; impossibly thin and chic ambled by dressed to the tee in Rockabilly style. Their outfits consisted of matching rolled Levis, studded belts and immaculate western shirts. There were gorgeous women who looked like they had just hiked out Laurel Canyon. Their skin pale and untanned, long flowing tresses with the perfect California beach wave, they walked slowly and floated in their patterned skirts and peasant tops. A seven foot cellist in black combat boots with four inch platforms and a kilt had stationed himself in front of the bowl. He serenaded the crowds with futuristic and dramatic compositions that echoed through the canyon walls.

I wandered around, the sun beating against my parasol, the heat settling into my shoulders. Vintage was everywhere and it was more than enough to make for at least two full days of shopping. Thousands of items, each with it’s own unique history and so many stories to tell. The fact that it was so much, created the atmosphere of treasure hunt that could be relished and allowed to slowly unfold. It was a perfect day in nature, a perfect day for relaxing and letting history emerge and entertain.

All You Ever Wanted To Know About Craftsman Bungalows Part I (The Bungalow)

Welcome to my series on Craftsman Bungalows. This is part one of my ongoing blog series, that will introduce to the author (me) and the craftsman bungalow. Here, you will find a blend of my personal experience, hopefully something informative, but most of all a bit of entertainment. So, as my daughter’s first grade teacher always used to say, “Let’s proceed.”

As early as I could remember, I was drawn to old houses. On the way to my elementary school was an old mansion surrounded by mid-century homes. The contrast of old and new architecture fascinated me and I found it mysterious. The house rambled across it’s property. It’s ornate expanse was covered with hand carved wood embellishments. The obvious time, talent and caring that had gone into creating the beautiful home, were a bright contrast to the simpler architecture of the modern homes surrounding it. The child that I was on that day, hoped that I could live in it or an old house just like it. I was a child that loved fairies, fantasies and magic and my favorite book was a collection of Hans Christian Anderson tales. The house appeared to be of another world, magical and safe. The funny thing was, that my Mom had just remarried and she and my new step-dad were considering it. They ended up finding a another home that ended up being a better fit for us. My parents had seven children combined and taking on a rambling old Victorian was a bit much for newly blended family.

Time passed and life happened. I was settled into my career as a nurse and I’d entered into a stage of life where I wanted to have a home, a nest for myself and my children.  It was a time when the economy was severely depressed and people were not buying houses. Hundreds of brand new homes were empty and waiting. They were beautiful homes, but the climate wasn’t friendly for buyers. Industry was being outsourced and moved to other countries and thousands of people had lost their jobs and futures. The old neighborhoods suffered even more. The old homes were used as rentals and tax write-offs.  Restoration was not even on the horizon. I wanted a bargain, so that’s where I went. The old beauties sat and waited patiently. Most of the homes had paint that was peeling and the exteriors in need of repairs. Broken wood, cracked cement, roofs disintegrating, overgrown yards and sheds that were practically falling over. There were several domains of historic architecture represented. There were Craftsman Bungalows, Victorian Farmhouses and Spanish Colonials.  I didn’t see them as old and ugly. They looked like treasures to me with infinite possibilities. I felt at home here. Maybe because I came from a lineage of immigrants, farmers, people that had to fix things. My ancestors arrived on the shores of the United States with the clothes on their backs and a few meager possessions. They had to work hard to make a life. I had grown up at the knees of my grandparents who loved to tell stories of working with their hands. Stories about baking the perfect loaf of bread, hiking five miles through the frozen plains of Iowa to get to a one room school house or preparing meals by hand in a pot bellied stove for a team of ten men who had just hiked in from the fields. That’s how I found my bungalow and decided to invest my life in making a home. That was a beginning of a journey that would take me to new and exciting places and to meet fascinating people.

How could a style of architecture inspire journeys and friendships that would develop into a lifestyle? I started picking up journals about bungalows and surfing the internet to learn more. At first I was mostly looking for information on how to refinish old floors, fix lathe and plaster, take down popcorn ceiling. I found swaths of information. I found out that there were many houses just like mine in the older neighborhoods of most American cities. These areas were called “Bungalow Belts”. My smallish city didn’t have a bungalow belt. What we had was a small collection of well-preserved bungalows with well documented history and several of the bungalows have become city landmarks registered with the state of California. The bungalows were located in and around the old city circle; a historic twentieth century race track that was once a national road race with the largest purse in America during it’s time. My downtown neighborhood was eclectic and combination of every known demographic. I loved people, so it was perfect for me.

As I met my neighbors, life became exciting and fun. I loved hearing my neighbors stories about their lives and the countries that had travelled so far from for a new and hopefully better life. They reminded me of my grandparents, all of them immigrants and hard workers, they had believed in the American dream and never gave up on it. Some of my neighbors were what I called the ‘originals’. Their families had been in my neighborhood since before the turn of the twentieth century and had been witness to decades of change. They were able to give first hand accounts of the evolution of a booming citrus colony into a modern day bedroom community.

Slowly, as I settled in, I began to hear of lectures and events that centered around history and old architecture. I began to attend these and then I was making my own personal history. My budding interest became a full immersion into learning about the past, old architecture and local history. I was an amateur anthropologist and I found it incredibly fascinating and fun. I began to meet people that felt the same way. They were called ‘historicals’. Like most people that loved history; the joy was in the telling of what you had learned and keeping it alive by telling it over and over again to people that never tired of hearing it.

So that was how living in bungalow changed my life. A simple antique cottage; worn and adorable. A small thing that changed my life for the better.